Thursday, October 12, 2006

Your attention please, my fellow leftists...

To preserve our credibility, we must immediately cease the practice of comparing President George W. Bush to Hitler. Hitler was nothing like Bush. Hitler had facial hair, a sort of suspicious affection for tough-guy uniforms, and—at the end of the day—was a crazed, brutal, vicious genocidal madman. President Bush, on the other hand, is simply a suck-ass President who sucks at everything he does except getting elected suck-ass President in the first place. The parallels with the Nazi dictator are few and specious, and those of us on the left side of things only look like screechy assholes when we pretend otherwise.

That is why I propose that, as of today, we all start afresh. Instead of as a “new Hitler”, we shall now describe the President as “the reincarnation of Godzilla’s most powerful foe, Rodan”:

Your compliance in this will be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much.