Make it stop! Make it stop!, or my incredibly bad country tunes--part three

As a self-proclaimed country music expert, I know that the music has to reach out to a broader audience if it wants to retain its cultural hegemony. Put simply, America is a fast-changing nation. We in the country music community can no longer afford to ignore the beautiful diversity that stretches even into the heart of the Southland. This is why, in my efforts to be the Cole Porter of the down-home set, I will try and expand the horizons of the genre and reach out to new listeners.

In that spirit, I offer you this, my latest honkytonk opus. This one I like to call "(It's Tough Bein') The Only Jew In Chattanooga"

Got crosses to the left of me
Crosses to the right
Sometimes it feels like the only one
Under a Star of David tonight
Been down here so long
Seems just about the only way
Is to forget about Temple
And sit around bored each Sunday

Because, let me tell you people,
It's tough being the only Jew in Chattanooga
The only Jew in town
This place is making me meshugah
Nothin' kosher for miles around

I've been wanderin' all over the world
And now I'm here in Tennessee
But I'm gonna lose patience with this here state
If they don't stop tryin' to baptize me
Come down here long ago
Thought I'd put down roots
The next time I hear 'bout Christ the Father
I swear, I'm moving back to the kibbutz

These goyim just don't understand
It's tough bein' the only Jew in Chattanooga
The only Jew in town
This place is making me meshugah
And this tsuris is gonna put me in the ground

Yeah, I'm gonna call my rabbi
Oh yeah, I'm gonna fly...
Gotta cleanse my system
Of all this chazeri

I'm gettin' out of here
Because it's tough bein' the only Jew in Chattanooga
The only Jew in town
This place is making me meshugah
Tired of bein' Bible-bound...