Wednesday, March 08, 2006

High comedy

It’s recess time and three fifth graders–one Irish, one Italian, and one a hillbilly–are out playing in the schoolyard. Eventually, the Irish kid says, “Hey, let’s see who’s got the biggest dick!”

The Italian kid says, “No problem here, hey,:” and pulls his out.

The other two take a look at it and the Irish kid just laughs. “You’ve got nothing on me boyo,” he says and whips out his own dick. It is an inch or two longer than the Italian’s.

“Aw, shucks,” says the hillbilly when he takes out his, which is far longer than both them.

That night, at the hillbilly’s shack, his mother is serving up grits when she asks, “Well, Jedediah, what did you do at school today?”

“Well, ma, we had a science filmstrip, we learned about the state capitals, and–oh yeah–me, Tony, and Seamus played Who’s Got the Biggest Dick? and I won!”

The hillbilly’s mother said, “That’s nice, hon.”

The hillbilly looked pensive for a moment, and then asked, “Ma, them boys said I was just ‘cause I’m a hillbilly, is that true?”

“Naw, dear,” the mother said reassuringly, “You won because you’re twenty-three years old!”