This is not me...

I work in an institution for the mentally ill. On occasion, a few of them get together and–since they’re locked up all day with very little to do–try to entertain themselves by figuring out who I look like. This evening, one disheveled man started in saying “He looks like someone on television! He looks like that one guy! You know, that one guy on television!”

“You’re going to have to narrow it down,” I said.

Just then, another wild-haired, wild-eyed man happened past and said, “He’s not that guy. He’s more like that guy in the Police Academy movies.”

“Which guy?” the first mentally-ill man asked.

“Like the main guy. You know, the guy that’s in all of them. I don’t know his name...” the second mentally-ill man said.

The first man squinted his eyes and furrowed his brow as he studied me. Eventually, he said, “Yeah. Yeah. He really does look like that guy!”

The second man nodded proudly then, “Doesn’t he?” After that, they wandered off to gaze out the windows of the day room. I sat there for awhile, trying to decide if I should be upset over the fact that insane people think I resemble Steve Guttenberg.

It was better than the last time my appearance was discussed at work, however. That time, a schizophrenic sixteen year old told me that I reminded her of the guy who owned Garfield.