Monday, July 17, 2006

The Kids Are All Right-Wing

Okay, so I’m reading this article in the Star Tribune about how Amy Klobuchar, Minnesota’s Democratic senate candidate, is out-polling Mark Kennedy, the repulsive Republican tool. And it’s a pretty encouraging little article, too, but one line needs to be dragged out and studied in greater detail. Here it is:

Kennedy is most popular with younger Minnesotans -- he leads Klobuchar 63 to 16 percent among those under age 25 -- and with Republicans, but he is behind in nearly every other category the July 6-11 poll measured.

I’m not quite sure what to make of this. To me, Kennedy is pretty much the absolute antithesis of youthful cool. He’s a lame-o chesire conservative whose tongue is stained a chocolatey-brown color from being lodged in our sitting president’s rectum for so long. What do the post-adolescents see in him? Is it his sexy plaid ensembles? Is it his vacant grin? Is it his position on the estate tax? I can’t say. I honestly can’t say.

Nevertheless, it probably isn’t good news for the Republicans that their man is only favored by that one demographic. Because for years and years they’ve been harping on how the schools are failing to educate our children, pumping out class after class of people who don’t have the smarts and the facts to become fully-functioning, responsible citizens. Maybe that wasn’t all bullshit after all. Maybe they had a point there. Plus, I hasten to remind them that the under-25 set is notoriously lousy at turning out on election day. Usually, they’re too busy smoking pot, having casual sex and working on their Myspace pages to remember to go down to the polling station. A candidate would have to be a fool or a Green to rely on them.

Regardless, be on the lookout for right-wingers to hold this poll up as either (a) incorrigibly biased or (b) evidence that the Youth of America are finally waking up from years and years of evil liberal indoctrination or (c) both of the above.