Prepare yourself for the explanation for the least worthy blog post ever to deface the internet

First, re-familiarize yourself with the least worthy blog post ever to deface the internet.

Second, understand that I’ve just spent about three hours cleaning my apartment. Third, recognize that I often use harsh chemical agents to make sure that my living quarters are as tidy as possible. Fourth, realize that I am very susceptible to the effects of the aforementioned chemicals. Fifth, consider that I must have an acute and fully-functioning mind to provide decent content for this blog. Sixth, allow me to assert unequivocally that I do not have such a mind at the moment. I spent a whole thirty minutes sitting in front of the computer, my Windex-misted head throbbing, and a few sentences about my beautiful new belt were all I could come up with. And I’ve only gotten a little better since then. In fact, as soon as I finish this I plan on laying on my couch and spending some quality time marveling at the cracks in my ceiling.

Seventh, please accept my apologies.