Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Extra-Super-Special-Bonus-Free Bad Poetry!

I had planned on only three installments of bad poetry. That
is all my few, fine readers can bear, I said to myself. That is
all I can bear. Besides, it’s about time I started casting about
for some new material. One doesn’t want to get into a rut, after
all. So, as tempting as it is to spend the next six months weav-
ing awful for you all, I decided not to do this.

However, this was all before Tara let me know about this
cyclops kitten
. I’m sure you’ll all agree that, when a cyclops
kitten enters the equation, even the most solemn promises
must go out the window. Therefore, without further ado,
allow me to present to you my thoughts and feelings about
this veterinary oddity in verse form:

A sonnet commemorating the birth of a certain
abnormal kitten
by Kevin-M

December 28, 2005

Let ring the bells and bring forth the clarion call
From Singapore to Suriname to ol’ Santa Fe
And come forth in gay raiments, one and all
To gaze awestruck upon the miracle born today

A kitten, all tawny-furred, timid and delicate
Has been delivered to us, as if from the sky
Bestow’d, as if from Heaven, with rare innocence
And–in the middle of its face–one big, black eye

A cyclops! Some say, their voices filled with fear
But these are the superstitious and cruel troglodytes
Who shiver with dread whenever wonder draws near
And, in their wretchedness, wonder if it bites

Come forth! Those who be not afraid, hear it purr
Wondereth much, what the good Lord made it for!


An elegy commemorating the death of a certain
abnormal kitten
by Kevin-M

December 29, 2005

Tears shall course forth unabated now, from us left alive
Left to see out our mundane and magicless two-eyes

For we are left here, in this accursed grey place
Blessed, they say, with cats bearing conventional face

But what a sorrowful world, if it cannot sustain
A creature whose eye looms larger than our President’s brain

Fair “Cy”, our planet most surely did you wrong!
For you came into our lives, but didn’t stay long!

In what greater realms was your glorious presence required?
What kind of celestial justice demanded you be expired?

Oh, I know you will forgive me if I rage against nature
Who, it its capriciousness, denies us such a creature!

To hold and embrace and feed and treasure
And treat with love and kindness beyond measure

But–alas–I know deep down that this was all for the best
You lived only a day, sweet Cy, but you saw more than the rest