Grave danger in Insomnia Reportland

My parents are now fully appraised of this website. Because
of this, I feel it necessary to make a few changes around here.
No longer will you see things like this, this, or this. Oh, no:
not with the chance that Mom might read it and, horror of
horrors, ask me about it the next time I visit them. So I’m
going to clean up my act around here. From here on out, I
will discuss three subjects and three subjects only. They are:

1) How wonderful my Mom and Dad are and what an ex-
cellent job they did raising me

2) Kittens! They sure are cute!

and

3) How I’m eating well, exercising regularly, not working too
hard, and finding as much time as possible to attend stimulating
cultural events.

I realize that this change might take some getting used to.
Still, I’m sure you understand that, in the long run, this
needs to happen to keep my afternoons at the family home-
stead as pleasant, relaxing, and un-awkward as possible...